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Lies! Lies!

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Park Square Theatre’s 2016-2017 season begins with the area premiere of The Liar on stage September 9 to October 2.  Playwright David Ives’ laugh-out-loud comedy centers on the escapades of Dorante, a gentleman who cannot tell the truth, and his servant Cliton who cannot tell a lie.

In the spirit of the play’s hilarious premise, we asked people to share their own stories about lies with humorous results. The stories kept coming in:

When my husband plays Scrabble, he will invariably bluff with a nonexistent word.  BLOKY so the word with the high-scoring Y tile can earn double points. DOX with the X! He has gotten away with NEMO against a child opponent.

My husband doesn’t often get away with lying when playing against me, though. I know his tell: it’s in the lips–how he stretches them thin to suppress the truth (or a giggle).

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I remember the story that my sister and her husband told about him making her pancakes when they were dating. She hates pancakes but lied that she loved them, so he made her pancakes for every breakfast. She finally couldn’t stand it anymore and had to tell him that she does not like  pancakes.

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When my younger brother was in high school, he was an avid deer hunter. He told my sister he needed to get some Pine-Sol to use while he was out at the deer stand. My sister later asked me what Pine-Sol had to do with deer hunting.

I said, “Oh, there’s this new kind of deer hunting that’s really popular right now. What you do is, you sit in the deer stand with a bottle of Pine-Sol and wait for the deer to walk by. When it’s directly below you, you pour the stuff down into its eyes. While it’s staggering around, blinded, you jump down from the deer stand and slit its throat with a Buck knife.”

I was rather young at the time and assumed that she knew I was joking, but I apparently told her this idiotic story so matter of factly that she completely believed it (I suppose it helped that she was pretty gullible). For several days, she kept angrily coming back to the cruelty of this practice and my apparent indifference to it, and I was really enjoying her righteous outrage until she wrote a letter to the editor of the local paper, objecting to this barbaric practice. I confessed the truth to her before she sent the letter, which no doubt saved her some embarrassment. But I sometimes regret not seeing that letter in print.

For the record, hunters used Pine-Sol to cover up their human scent from the deer’s sensitive noses.

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(Watch out for yet more lies in upcoming blogs!)

Ting Ting Cheng

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